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June 11

Kids at Southerness

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May 22

My 3yr old!

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is folded, I must unfold it.

If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.

If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.

If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is NOT rubbish, it must be thrown away.

If it IS rubbish, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

If it is a pencil, it must write on the walls, sofas or table.

If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.

If it is a pile of mud, it must be rolled in.

If it is buggy, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.

If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

If Mummy's hands are full, I must be carried.

If Mummy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.

If it is paper, it must be torn.

If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

If the volume is low, it must go high.

If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.

If it is a toothbrush, it must be used to brush anything but my teeth.

If it has a tap, it must be turned on at full force.

If it is a phone, I must talk to it.

If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.

If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

If it is not food, it must be tasted.

If it IS food, it must not be tasted.

If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.

If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mummy, it must be hugged. Because I am toddler and these are my rights!

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May 19

**

Get Your Music Video Code Here | Pimp Your Profile

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Whats ya fant-ta-ta-seeee??? lol

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Mr Cadbury met Ms Rowntree in a room on Quality St. It was After Eight. He turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic! He slipped his hand in her Snickers and showed her his Curlywurly. Not keen to have any jelly babies she let him take a trip up Bourneville boulevard, she screamed with Turkish Delight! As he took out his fun sized Mars Bar it felt a bit Crunchie and she wanted some Time Out but he did a Twirl and had a Picnic in her Pink Wafer..

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May 06

My site hits!!!

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All bout me me me!!!

Name?: Alana!!

Nicknames?: Ali,Alanay, Alibee
Shoe Size?: 6
Height?: bout 5'6,
Birthday?: 23 Dec

^{Sign?:Capricorn}^{Lefty or Righty?: Righty}

^{Shoes or sandals?: depends
Sex or love?: Both
Love or money?: Love
Tea or Coffee?: Tea jenny!
Sand or Snow?: Sand
Flowers or Chocolates?: Flowers
Cats or Dogs?: Poochys
Live Forever or die young?: Live forever
Coke or Pepsi?: Diet Coke}

^{What do you want in a relationship?: Kisses, luvs and loads of laughs}

^{What should a guy/gurl buy you to woo you?:}^{White Roses}

Do you like to sing in the bath?: oh yes!!

^{Do you like to sing?: Yes, others dont!!}

^{Song?: Loads, Lapdance, Talk tonight or Turn up the sun}

Perfume?: Davidoff Echo

Movie?: Without a doubt, Human Traffic!!!!

^{Number?: 1!!}^{Card game?: Poker, thanks Milge!!}

^{Radio station?: Im a radio 1 or West Sound on a Fri nite kinda gurl}^{Sports?: Is sex a sport???}

Food?: £2 specials fae Lincluden!!!

TV show? Shameless!!! aint Frank hot??!!

Character?: Dora, Dora, Dora, the exploraaaaaa!

Colour? Pink Pink Pink

Dream Car?: Baby pink Hummer H2, 6000 V8 (bt its gotta have 21" chromes) or a Bugatti EB 110 in Pink nd black-gaaawjus!! Any offers??!

Dream man?: ...Big Gaff.....

Do you plan on having kids? Bit late for plannin?!
How many do you want? 2 or3 maybe a boy!??

What's something you can't wait to say? Erm.......BOO!!

^{Get married? Yeah....
Would you have kids before marriage? ......???!!
Do you have a crush?: Yes}

^{Does he know?: Uhhu....}

^{What hurts you the most? horrible people, lies}

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Unwanted???

25 ways to get rid of an unwanted girlf/boyf!!*

1. Follow them everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia
4. Run around with a lampshade

on your head yelling, "The sun, its followin meeee!!"
5. Run into walls
6. Have nervous breakdowns during sex.
7. Stand over him/her at 4 in the morning

with a huge grin on your face and yell

"Gooood morning , sunshine"
8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder!
9. Run in circles.
10. Pluck out a piece of their hair and yell "DNA" !!!
11. Wear a sticker that says , "Yup, im a retard" .
12. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
13. Lay face down and chant like an indian tribe member.
14. Try to climb up a wall .
15. Make weird animal noises at night and

when they wake up to see whats wrong , pretend your asleep.
16. Do what they tell you to do .
17. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house.
18. Hold there hand and whisper , "dont worry my little poppet"
19. When your in the shower or bath yell "the rubber duckie, its drowning!!"
20. Ask them quietly "pardon me but do you have any..."

then yell " SHOELACES !!!!
21. After everything they say yell "LIAR"
22. Pretend to be a phone.
23. Try to swim on the floor .
24. when they are driving, roll down the window nd shout "im bein kidnapped!"
25. Tell them ud love them 2 hum the border news theme while makin love.

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